Once I…

February 9, 2010 at 5:29 pm Leave a comment

…was up on the table I felt a little….odd.  First, I had no desire to dance with the boy that pulled me up there and two, it is soooo not in my personality to be up on a table dancing in public.  By the time I could think straight there was no getting down.  A sea of people were below me and they were not going to make room for me to descend upon them.  So I did the only thing I could do; I continued to dance.

That is when Tim said he noticed me for the first time.  He says he looked across the room and saw ‘this little girl with overalls and a striped tank top’ and thought to himself that he had to meet her.  To hear him tell it, he made his way across the dancefloor and pushed his way onto the table.  To hear me tell it, he appeared next to me, he may or may not have said something and I thought, “oh, I remember him”.

The next couple of weeks probably 10 million things happened as I began my college classes, listened to my roommate cry for her boyfriend at home (who was always smoking pot and worked at a flea market so I could never figure out why she had such a thing for him) and broke up with my own.  I remember calling him on the phone just knowing he had cheated on me.  I just woke up and I knew.  I was devastated.  To this day I don’t know if he was also or not.  He sounded upset when we hung up the phone but I have never been one for keeping in touch after a break-up.  During all this time Tim and I were hanging out, eating meals at the dining hall together and taking a tour of a fruit cannery (I would later find out he considered this our first date).  The whole time I was fairly clueless thinking we were just friends and nursing my broken heart.  Then it happened.

Tim and I had gone to some of his friends’ house for dinner and we were pulling into the parking lot of the dorm.  He starting rambling on and on about how as an RA he wasn’t supposed to get involved with the students, how we would have to be discreet and I had to be serious about him or he wasn’t going to risk his job for a relationship with me.  I.had.not.a.clue. 

Me: Huh?  RA’s can’t be friends with the students?  I thought part of your job was to have friendships so that you’re there to help when something goes wrong.

Him: Yes, but you can only go so far and you’re a girl and I’m a guy RA.  My residents are the boys.  A lot of girls want to date an RA because they’re attracted to the ‘leader’ or the older guy. 

Me:  OK.

At this point a look of frustration and a deep sigh came from Tim.  He knew I was getting it as I sat there, confused but starting to recognize that he might be saying he wanted to be more than my friend and RA.  It was right at that moment that he grabbed my face and kissed me for the first time.  It would my the first of our 3 first kisses.

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