…doing some thinking. I know, big surprise, and you may even be thinking….”here we go….” 🙂
I know that I haven’t done a weigh-in Wednesday in a while. I was taking the time to really mull over how I wanted to handle this whole weight issue from this point forward in my life and I really didn’t want to comment on it again until I had it mostly figured out. Here is the deal: for whatever reason my body doesn’t cooperate with this process right now. Maybe it’s the thyroid, maybe it’s the age (I honestly think I may be slightly peri-menopausal) or maybe I’m fooling myself and I’m really not doing as well as I think I am. Maybe I’m not sweating hard enough. The bottom line is I’ve come to this conclusion: I will lead a healthy lifestyle and enjoy that life and my weight will be what it will be. I don’t like the size of my tummy or my upper arms right now but the fact of the matter is, I’m not obese. I’m not even what a lot of people would call overweight. I just don’t like my trouble areas right now. But if I choose to continue exercising and eating well my body will eventually catch up to itself. I’m healthy. My cardiac panels, cholesterol and blood pressure are “that of someone in their 20’s” according to my doctor. Overweight, unhealthy people don’t have low blood pressure and low cholesterol. So this is me, easing up on myself and committing to continuing a healthy lifestyle that includes embracing the body that I have right now, the body that is working for me and not falling apart.
Next on my thought list is the whole turning 40 thing. I’ve never been afraid of 40 and tomorrow, when I can say that I am officially 40 it will not freak me out. But there are two things I’ve been really aware of this week as I approach my birthday. The first is that a year ago, the plan was to be in Hawaii tomorrow with friends and family and a big celebration vacation. Well, people don’t get paid, the economy suffers and husbands get ill so it’s obvious that wasn’t in the Father’s plan for my birthday. But there is a birthday blessing nonetheless.
You see, my husband is throwing me a party tomorrow night. He invited people to come and each and every one of them said ‘yes’ except for 2 who are on a missions trip in Panama. It almost makes me cry. It’s the first time since we moved here 3 1/2 years ago that I feel like I’m building a life here. I’ve known that I had made a good friend and was building a life for my children and that my husband was building several (hee) with his jobs but I didn’t feel like I had anything that was really mine…a ministry, a circle of friends, a job. Yes, I have a job but it’s virtual and no one else in Tennessee even works for the company. Now ministry is starting to be put back into my lap and people are starting to recognize me as their friend and not just the ‘new girl’ from California. It is a blessing. As much as the introvert in me doesn’t want constant social interaction it is nice to know that you are loved and a support system is closer than across the country.
Also on the birthday thinking list? Well, maybe I should save it for another post. This one is long already and I don’t want to bore you or tire you out! But I promise, I’ll write it now and then I’ll post it tomorrow!
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