Archive for June, 2008

I know…

…I know, two posts in one day.  But if I don’t get this out I may just start crying….again.  (deep breath)

I dropped Kaitlynn and Alden off for camp.  In the past this has never been a big issue for me.  In the past Kaitlynn never went to camp.  You see, I am raising an anxious child.  An incredibly brave, strong child who doesn’t realize she has no reason to be anxious.  She doesn’t realize how courageous she is but she is truly the most courageous female I have ever met.  Kaitlynn battles her demons every year around her birthday; I believe it is subconcious and I do believe it is spiritual.  Somewhere in her little mind she gets worried I am going to leave her like her birth mom did, like her foster mom had to.  The past two-three weeks we have battled severe separation anxiety and about four days ago she conquered it.  We have been reciting the scripture, “God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind.”  She sings it, she prays it, she is starting to believe it.

Fast forward to the church parking lot this afternoon.  Clinging to my legs and trying so hard not to cry, to be strong she just kept saying, “I will miss you.  I will miss you.”  Thank goodness for big sunglasses that could hide my eyes welling up with tears.  Her conflicted little heart was more than I could take.  She wanted so much to be brave and yet she was truly anxiety-ridden.  Thank goodness for a church family that saw it, for a man who kept running over and giving her kisses and making her laugh, for another man who told her countless jokes and got her mind off of saying “goodbye”, for the woman who I could hear praying over us as others were milling around chatting and for an entire group of parents who said, “She’s fine, go, we’ll call you” as I realized I needed to leave in order to make it easier on Kaitlynn….watching me wave as she was sitting on the bus wasn’t going to work for this child.

Here is the thing though: I did the right thing.  I know Kaitlynn will get to camp and have a blast.  She is a social butterfly above and beyond any personality trait she may possess.  There is swimming, rock climbing, art, singing and a cake fight that is legendary.  She has her little bedtime notes and her scripture.  She has a picture of she and I, her brother is there along with church staff that love her.  In the end, this will move her another step forward in realizing that risk is worth taking and most fears are unfounded.  Yes, she will miss me and yes, I will have her big, brown, watery eyes imprinted in my mind’s eye until I see her on Friday.  But I hold to the truth that this is part of raising a confident child. 

I got in the car to drive home and a song I hadn’t heard in a long time came on the radio.  As I listened to it, tears falling down my face I realized how appropriate it was for that moment.  Here it is, enjoy it and please, each night this week, say a prayer for Kaitlynn.


June 30, 2008 at 7:31 pm 3 comments

What a….

…GORGEOUS few days we have had!  We actually have breezes and it actually cooled down overnight.  See, in California it cools down in the evening and I miss that.  In Tennessee it isn’t that it’s soooo hot (because really, compared to Sacramento it’s not), it’s just that it doesn’t cool down at night.  So last night all the windows were open (still are and it’s 10:30 am!!) and we can hear the breeze through the trees.  I think we stayed out on the deck last night until almost 10:00, talking, eating cupcakes and watching fireflies.  Good times…

Today my two babies go to summer camp.  I know they aren’t babies anymore but they’re my youngest so I’m calling them my babies.  Powell will celebrate his birthday tomorrow night (eight days late) with his friends, swimming, flashlight tag and I’m sure a little round of airsoft wars.  Again, good times…

Me?  I think I’m going to do some scrapbooking and hanging out with my oldest.  I get my first allergy shot on Wednesday.  I’m excited to start reading a book called The Shack that I have heard a rave review on and perhaps even a few other little projects I’ve been thinking about.  Definitely feeling like it’s a creative week if everything lines up.  There have been lots of things running through my mind lately and if things slow down I’d like to get those sorted out and written about.  It’s amazing sometimes how my mind just won’t settle down until I’ve completed a thought process from beginning to end…it can lend itself to waking up a lot in the middle of the night.  : )

So, not such an exciting post but a post nonethless.  I guess I’ve just sunken so far into summer I can’t muster up much more.  It’s been relaxing, enjoyable, busy and very good for our little family of five.  Yes, good times….

June 30, 2008 at 3:33 pm 4 comments

Bumps, bumps…

…and more bumps.  It was a week of bumps.  Some were hysterical and one was not so hysterical but bumpy nonetheless.  : )  Curious?

Let’s start with the not-so-funny first.  That way we can end with what I consider to be the funny one.  My boy.  My turns-12-on-Monday boy.  Powell.  You’ve got to love this kid because he takes things in such stride.  Like when he came home from camping a few weeks ago he had four tics.  Yep, four of them.  But he was so calm about it and had a sense of humor through the whole thing.  It was important because what is worse than four tics on your body?  Three were in the nether-regions.  Yep.  He was a trooper though and let me say for all of cyber-world to hear: peanut butter.  Use peanut butter when you get a tic.  It smothers them, makes them pop their head out and then you can just wipe the little sucker (no pun intended) off.  Worked like a charm.  But those didn’t leave him with bumps.  this week he had a nice BIG lump at the base of his skull.  Just like the one Tim had when we found out he had leukemia.  Ah yes, good times.  But we’ve had a blood test and he sits at a healthy 6.7 white blood cell count which was music to my mommy ears.  Chances are, his body didn’t like the tics or the puberty that is crashing upon him so he’s got a swollen lymph node.  So, that takes care of bump #1.

Now for the 65 other bumps this week (if you don’t count the one that happened when Tim ran over some guy’s low-boy trailer at the gas station).  This little girl went to the ENT a few weeks ago.  it went something like this:

Me: I’ve had allergies all my life and I’m just sick of living this way.  Could you check and see if something is blocking my sinuses?

Doc: Sure, look here on your CT scan.  You’ve got a deviated septum and some major swelling; looks like it’s been there for years.  Let’s see if we can treat it and avoid surgery.  First, let’s find out what you’re allergic to.

So off I went to the allergist.  I was informed that they would “scratch”…more like a prick….my back with 73 different (no folks, not a type-o) allergens to determine what my body is allergic to.  After said “scratches” I would sit for 15 minutes and then they would read the results and clean my back.  Meanwhile, no scratching.

(1/3 of the way through the tech ‘scratching’ me):

Tech #1: Wow, you’re reacting already.

Tech#2: She sure is, look at that.

(2/3 of the way through):

Tech #2: That is amazing…look at that.

(all scratches done):

Tech #2: We’ll check back on you.  It’s amazing how quickly you’re reacting.

(2 minutes later)

Tech #1: Did you scratch your back?

Me:  No, you told me not to.

Tech #1: Are you sure?

Me:  I’m sure.  I’d be feeling MUCH better had I scratched my back.

Tech #1:  Tech #2 could you come here?

Tech #2:  Wow, did you scratch your back?

Me: NO, you told me NOT to scratch my back.  I didn’t scratch my back.

Tech #2: OK, we’ll be back in a few minutes; I don’t think we’ll have you go the whole fifteen minutes.

(2 minutes later they come in and begin counting and grading each reaction.  I’m told my reactions are off the chart…most are measured on a 2 number scale and my numbers are off the scales.)

Me:  So is that pretty common?

Tech #1: No, otherwise they would change the scale.

Me:  Oh, right.  So, how many of the 73 did I react to?

Tech #1: 65.

June 21, 2008 at 3:33 am 6 comments

These have been…

…making me smile at the most unexpected moments. 

They are little notes that one of my most favorite people, Tricia, left for me after her visit in April.  They were and are all over my house….in the curio cabinet, in the bathroom drawer, inside my laundry detergent cupboard….everywhere.  There are some I’m sure I haven’t found yet, some I have let go of and some I have left where they are just so they can continue to make me smile.  : )

Speaking of Tricia, these notes make me think about her and here is my most recent thought: she is like Martha Stewart.  (she probably just spit whatever was in her mouth out all over her computer screen)  She is; but not in the way you might first think.  You see, Martha is essentially a very curious person and Tricia, well I think she might be the most curious person I personally know.  When she was here and my dad was teaching her about dogwood trees, she was truly interested.  When a man from Dave’s work was telling her about bonsai trees, she was truly interested.  When you tell her something she almost always has a question.  It’s interesting to me because I don’t think I’m a curious person.  I’m not sure why but I think it might have something to do with being a face value person.  I’m interested in people, but not processes.  Like, sit down and tell me all about your life and I am SO with you.  But take me for a tour at a winery and other than the tasting, I just don’t care much.

But here is something I AM curious about:

Do you see it?  (sorry Fran)  It’s a tiny little baby bird.  Remember a few posts back when I showed you the bird house and told you that the momma always gives us a few clutches a year?  This is clutch number two.  There are two in there and they seem to be doing very well.  We’ve been keeping an eye on them and putting worms close by so momma doesn’t have to travel too far to feed them or herself.  She isn’t around much anymore but she still checks on them and watches from a distance. 

This week I have been busy organizing photos I thought were organized and putting them into albums.  I’ve definitely made the decision not to think I will ever go back and scrap all the photos from the boys’ early years….there are just too many.  So I’ve organized them, chosen a couple of favorites to scrap and put the rest into albums which will suit my purposes just fine.  It feels good to have it done and to be FREE to never think about scrapping them again.  Now I get to focus on the HERE the NOW and the now and enjoy scrapping THAT.

So that’s it.  Possibly a very random post with some very random thoughts but I hope you enjoyed them anyway!

June 10, 2008 at 7:38 pm 3 comments

Yes, it’s true…

…I have majorly slacked on getting this blog updated!  So settle in for a long one (probably).  I hate to say, “I’ve been so busy I just couldn’t post” because that makes it sound like I’ve been so busy in a bad way.  While it’s true that I have been so busy, it’s been a good busy.  The kids are having SO MUCH fun so far this summer.  They have been letting me get my work done without chaos all around me and we’ve been having a blast going swimming, working in the yard, watching the new clutch of babies in the birdhouse and many other things!

I will start with a disclaimer: we got a new computer.  Yes, the nearly ten year old computer has been replaced!  It’s nice to have done it without HAVING to do it because that means we are a two-computer household now; a very nice luxury with five computer users and one who works (on a computer) from home.  Well, on said computer, I now have Photoshop!  I know….I can hardly stand it myself.  So while the following photos of my kids in the pool (proving the fun and my improving photography skills) may not be all “photoshopped” out….hang on, it’s coming….at some point in the near future I WILL master the photoshop (meanwhile just the redeye removal tool is driving me nuts….so don’t tell me about Floyd’s “blue” eyes later; I know!).

OK, so on with the fun!  Here are some of the kids in the backyard (seriously, how much fun is this little girl having):

Then there is always playing with your brothers:

Or watching them try to surf in a pool…


And then again there is just looking at your brother and realizing how much fun you’re all having (plus I knew Tricia would appreciate this picture)…

But our time out at the pool isn’t limited to just the kids entertaining me.  No, no, there are the dogs.  Never underestimate the entertainment they can provide you with.  First of all, there is Floyd.  Poor little groomed Floyd who takes days to get used to after a visit to the groomer…

And then there is this pain in the neck (literally) who consistently tries to get the old girl to play with him…

But this, THIS does my heart good (old girl still has it….NEVER question who the Alpha Dog is!_….


But before you report me to the ASPCA, I promise, we don’t let our dogs be mean and fight (oh, and give them embarrassing haircuts)….they are PLAYING, see just seconds later…they’re friends:

So now for some grown-up, adult, human humor.  Here is Tim, waiting for the IRS Stimulus check to arrive:

No, no, not really.  We needed a new toilet.  Seems toilets that are over twenty years old don’t work so hot after all that time.  So we got this wonderful new toilet that doesn’t allow the lid to be slammed and finishes it’s thing in like a 1/4 of the time it used to take.  Ahhhh…’s also environmentally sound because I paid attention to that.  Tim just thought it would be funny to read a magazine out in the front yard sitting on the toilet.  Yes, I married him.

Have you seen this book?

I’m baking a TON out of it right now…yet another reason the kids and I are having such a fun summer.  Anyway, people who come by the house are signing their names on the pages that have cookies they want to taste.  That way, when I bake that recipe I can make sure they get some.  So if you live nearby you need to stop by and do it!  If you don’t live nearby and you can get your hands one or see it in a bookstore, tell me what cookies you think look best and I just may mail them to you (and no Tricia and DeAnna…you can’t just say, “any of them”) but you have to be specific!

One last thing, I’m going to out myself.  I am putting it out there for the world to know because that is how committed I am.  I am riding in the Livestrong Challenge in Austin in October.  A 90-mile bike ride.  I’m super excited and having been training now for about three weeks.  It’s been tough but I know I can do it and I am so excited to ride in honor of the lung I lost, the leukemia Tim beat and the colon my mother still has!  Now I’m off…I’m hoping to sand down a table and paint it today…oh, an a mirror too! 


June 4, 2008 at 6:39 pm 7 comments

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