Archive for April, 2008
…to really notice my blessings today. I like to think of myself as a person who has learned how to be in the moment and look at the bright side of things. Although I’m definitely a pragmatist life’s experiences have also lead me to a place where I am completely grateful and not willing to deal with things that aren’t worth my time. By this, I mean the things that typically bug us: weight (although I do deal with it in terms of health), what someone thinks of me, overanalyzing, etc. I am so grateful to be at this place and am only now realizing how many women aren’t. Why is that? Why do women continue to pressure themselves and beat themselves down? By and large, we’re an amazing race of people. God has put such beauty in us. There is a line from a Keith Urban song that says: “He took a fire that breathes and burns, took a river that bends and turns and put it all in place, in the most perfect way.” He is singing of God creating woman.
My prayer for you today is that you recognize you are not a mistake. Your creation was planned for, accounted for and matters. Try and embrace the best parts of yourself and work on the things YOU know need working on, not what others or society is telling you need working on. Then finally, notice how good your life is. If you’re going through a rough time, make yourself pick three things daily that you are blessed for. When Tim was sick…for nearly seven years, mine was often the pathetic, “Tim isn’t dead.” But we need to do this in hard times. We need to see that it is just a season and it will pass. Focus on the positive so you can get through the season with as much joy as possible.
So here I go….noticing my blessings today:
- Powell is camping with his Royal Rangers group and I’m sure he is having a blast. His commanders are wonderful men who truly care for my child and I never have to worry about his safety when he’s in their care.
- Kaitlynn’s eyes look wonderful. Three surgeries were worth it.
- Alden is growing into a wonderful young man who charms all he meets.
- Tim is happy in his new job.
- The home I have made out of this house is warm, comfortable and truly a haven for my family.
- God continues to reveal Himself in new ways to me each and every season of my life. I am at peace knowing that my future is in His hands. I am at peace knowing He wants to bless me. I am at peace knowing that as long as my heart pursues Him I will make the right decisions.
- Spring has sprung.
- I have good friends in my life.
- My pantry is full.
- I know that in the end, my worth does not lie on a clean floor or folded laundry (although I still pursue these things diligently).
Please talk to me! What are some of the blessings you’re taking notice of today?
…I would have posted pictures with this post. But I can’t. I am playing a bit of catch up this week and decided it was better to post something without pictures rather than nothing at all. And besides, I really wanted to post about my wonderful week last week!
As you all know my girl, Tricia, came to visit me. We started out on a Monday evening and pretty much didn’t stop until she left Sunday afternoon. I was sooooo happy to see her. There is a connection with her that I can’t describe but I just love her to bits and pieces and being able to see her and spend time with her and feel as though not a day went by without seeing her was wonderful. Truly a blessing in my life.
The week was full of sunshine and flowers and happy children. They loved seeing Tricia and had “forgotten how fun she is” as Alden put it yesterday. We picked up Gretchen on Thursday morning to go to the Scrap Etc. event in Nashville. What a good time. Heidi Swapp, Jenni Bowlin, and so many more were there to teach and inspire. So fun! We laughed and giggled and created all while staying in the gorgeous Opryland Hotel. So fun is that place and such a treat for tired mommies who needed a few days off. We made lots of new friends but most especially this lovely lady, Jennifer. What a treasure she is. She braved a plane trip to attend the event and didn’t know anyone there…very impressive in my estimation.
I think the only damper on the whole week was that I worried about my sweet Keturah girl. At nearly 12 years old she is years past typical rottie lifespan and she is beginning to show it. I feel as though I’m in the middle of a long goodbye. She still has a quality of life that enables her to enjoy her food, run in the yard for spurts and get excited over all the normal things but she is slowing down greatly. She sleeps more. She has little issues that are beginning to slow her down. Tim and I talked about it again last night and we are not prepared to have her suffer one little bit. She has been too good, too regal, too perfect a companion and family member to disrespect her in that way. So for now we are happy that she is not in pain (although we are trying a round of painkillers to see if she improves…just in case she is hurting and we don’t know it) and will be with us for as long as God wills but the reality is setting in and we are beginning to brace ourselves for what we know will be inevitable.
OK, sorry, I didn’t mean to end on such a sad note. Really, I didn’t. It’s just what is there on my mind and you know me, I like to keep it real! OK, lets see….a happy little something to end with…..hmmm….before Tricia left she left us little notes all over the house. Lots and lots of little notes for us to discover as we go about our day. Maybe THOSE are some pictures I can post next time!
…last night in my dream. Yes, it is a dream of mine to meet him. I have much to say to him. While he is nice to look at, I promise you so much of this dream entails around deeper issues for me. But for now, I will settle for the dream I had last night. I’m so glad I remember it.
When I met Keith he liked me. I mean he really liked me. There were several times that I was talking to other people and he could easily escape the room and he kept walking back over to join me in conversation. He also gave me a hug. I mean a really good hug. When my arms were stuck underneath his strapping shoulders and I couldn’t move them to hug him back he moved them for me and squeezed me harder. (sigh, swoon, smile) At the end of my dream, he found out that I used to own a pre-school and asked if I would watch his and Nicole’s baby when they needed it. I said ‘yes.’
OK, now back to reality and something that is making me even happier than that oh-so-beautiful dream I had that will one day (mark my words) become a reality. Well, maybe not the babysitting part but definitely the meeting him and him liking me part. In three days, my soul sister Tricia comes to visit me. It’s been two and a half long years without her by my side and I just can’t believe it’s actually happening. We’re going to have so much fun shopping and talking and pedicuring and scrapping and going to the Scrap Etc. event with Gretchen. That is another great thing about Tricia coming to visit….I know she’ll love my new friend, Gretchen and I know Gretchen will love her. Tricia sings like an angel and I’m excited to have that around again. Tricia also loves it when I sing. Don’t let her tell you any different, she does. She loves it. I sing like….well like someone who really loves to sing but can’t so much sing. So Tricia, this is to honor your visit here, I’d sing it to you if I could (because I know you love it) but I don’t have a video camera so alas :
….for lots and lots of pictures with this post. I can’t help it; there were just soooo many things that made me happy yesterday that I had to keep clicking pictures (sorry, Fran, I know Niki isn’t home yet).
So Sunday started like any ordinary Sunday and after church, lunch and a quick trip to Wal-mart we were all home and all out enjoying the first sunny day after inches and inches and inches and inches of rain we got last week. We’ll start with that sunshine and why it makes me so happy. Not only does the California girl in me LOVE the sunshine, but the Tennessee girl in me LOVES what the sunshine brings here.
First, there is this:
This just makes me very happy because I know that every year, a momma bird comes along and goes through three rounds of eggs in this (which is inside the house):
She lets us lift up the door and look. They are the most beautiful blue, tiny little eggs you’ve ever seen and it makes us so happy to follow along in her progress and see the little babies once they’re hatched. Of the six or so clutches that she’s had, she has only lost one baby. She’s a good momma.
I also love that I know how many other birds are on their way to us. We’ve been filling the feeders and preparing all their resting places. We love them. I think we counted 19 different varieties of birds in our yard last summer. It’s amazing. We love them and there is nothing better than waking up to the sound of their singing or hearing one of the woodpeckers pecking away and have you ever heard a mockingbird? They’re hilarious and they trip me out everytime I’m in my garden and they decide to catcall me.
This also makes me happy:
See those little buds? Not only are those the promise of the lushness of Tennessee coming to us full-speed but it is also the beginning of the most beautiful dogwood tree ever. It lives in our front yard and right outside Powell’s bedroom windows. It’s gorgeous. It will be a big cloud of white for about two weeks and everytime I see it, from the house or as I turn onto my street, it will make me smile. It’s a childhood memory in the making for Powell and I love it. Here are more of the promises I am watching:
Here are some of the promises that are already shouting their arrival:
Now for the not-so-tree-hugging people out there. Yesterday, the bikes came back out. It was a great afternoon of bike riding and skating in the front. Powell went around and around for hours just feeling the bike move him forward. He reminded me of myself as a child and how I could ride a bike forever, oblivious to the world around me. When he did stop, he tried his best to give me a tough-guy look. What do you think?
Nah, I didn’t buy it either. But how about this for a tough guy, it doesn’t get any tougher than this, I promise:
Uh, well, maybe it does. The funny part? He didn’t want any evidence:
Kaitlynn got a new bike yesterday so we were all trying to help her get used to it’s size. She kind of had to re-learn how to ride a bike because it is so much bigger. Alden was especially helpful and when she got tired, he tried to teach her how to ride her heelies and gave her rides on the back of his bike. THAT makes me happy. My boys being good big brothers, what is better?
Yep, he was a good big brother, and a darned good lookin’ son-of-a-gun too:
It made for a very happy sister:
All of that combined made me one happy girl. Don’t I look happy?
…would describe myself (nor would others describe me, I don’t think) as a vain person. While I certainly have my girlie moments and love to have cute clothes and good hair and all that, it has never been something that I have spent a lot of time on or invested a lot of thought to. I would say that I “took care” of myself and it stopped there.
Then the last year happened. The last year really showed me that there are some physical attributes that I have that I very strongly associate my identity with. I’m not saying that they’re what I hang my world on but they are important to me and it has really made me stop and think. The first showstopper was when my hair started falling out. I mean falling out. I mean clogging the shower drain, the vacuum brush and all of my car. It seems my thyroid wasn’t working properly. But as my hair was slowly thinning I became so frustrated because everyone except my hairdresser and Gretchen kept saying, “No, I can’t tell. You have lots of hair.” Well people, I usually have lots and lots of hair. It was very disturbing to me and the stress of it probably caused even more hair to fall out. You see, everyone in my family has a lot of hair. My sisters, my mom, my dad. It’s kind of our thing. The good news is now my medicine is working, the thyroid is functioning properly and the hair has stopped falling out. Of course there is the issue now of all that new hair growing back in…..tons and tons of tiny little hairs all over my head that I daily struggle to blend into the rest.
Then the next thing happened. In high school, I never had to wash my face. I didn’t break out. Tim considers it a national holiday when I get a pimple because it’s so rare. It’s not me, it’s genetics. But I have loved having “easy” skin. I’ve loved living for 39 years without the need for foundation. I’ve loved that no matter how heavy I was people always said, “You’ve got very pretty skin.” I didn’t realize I loved this last thing until IT happened.
Blotches. On both cheeks. I tried masks, I tried new cleanser, I didn’t know what to do. Then it hit me: I’m getting older and my skin is showing it. I went to the aesthetician to find out what it was. Clogged pores? Unerupted pimples? Dare I say it? Age spots? She called it Hyperpigmentation. I said, “what?” She said, “age spots.” Right there? On my face?! I thought those were left to hands. But I am armed with a plan now (step one was done yesterday and involved some burning)….a plan that I will compare to what the dermatologist has to say at next week’s appointment. Yes, this is how far my new-found vanity has brought me. I am going to pay, out of pocket, for a dermatologist to tell me how to get rid of these (shhhh) age spots on my cheeks. But hey, I’m desperate, this morning I actually put some foundation on.