I know it went somewhere…
…but where? I remember when the boys were really little; one day they were playing at home with friends and I was making dinner. I remember wondering when I, the youngest of three girls, became the most responsible person in the house. It was strange to realize that there were so many relying on my discernment and guidance and yet it just happened without my really noticing. I wasn’t sure how that happened. Now I find myself in another quandry of not knowing where the time is going. I know I’ve participated in every minute of it, but where did it go?
All of the sudden I am looking at this boy, eye-to-eye who has feet bigger than mine. He has attitudes that I have never seen before and I notice subtle changes in his body almost every day. He dashes out the door at every opportunity to be with friends and experience new things. I am grateful that he has an unabandoned confidence to do this and yet I can feel the ripping and it is so bittersweet. I see him struggling with wanting his mom and yet somehow knowing that it is time to spread his wings a little. How can I be so happy for him and yet so sad all at the same time? Motherhood, huh?
I am facing the very real realization that I have him home full-time for about 6 1/2 more years. It’s exciting to see what he has yet to grow into and I look forward to that. But I want to try and remember each of these days and moments the same way I remember nursing him and rocking him and sending him off to his first day of kindergarten. So I’m not really sure what the purpose of this post is except maybe to encourage those of you who still have the very little ones that it isn’t ALL about them being so little. As they grow there are still so many things to discover about them and so many ways they still need you. I guess it is also to prepare you that the bittersweet feeling of them growing up doesn’t go away because they’re “older”.
Here is a few layout I did on Powell in the past six months. I guess this is my little way of honoring the boy-man he is becoming.
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